Cosmic Insights
Our Sacred Services (and Yes, we mean Sacred with a side of Sass)
Natal Readings
Like a first glimpse into a cathedral’s stained glass at dawn (or that moment you realize your coffee is divine intervention in liquid form), your natal chart holds patterns of divine light uniquely your own. This reading transcends mere planetary positions to reveal the sacred geometry written in the moment of your first breath – think of it as your soul’s original Instagram filter, but make it cosmic. Here we explore not just personality traits, but the very language your soul speaks in its journey toward theosis. With equal measures of reverence and wit, we illuminate both the divine comedy (and yes, sometimes it’s actually a comedy) and profound mystery of your cosmic blueprint. This is no mere catalog of characteristics, but rather an invitation to understand the unique way grace moves through your particular constellation of being – even if that movement occasionally looks like a cosmic cha-cha.
Relationship Analysis
With our relationship compatibility analysis, we dissect the astrological elements that spice up or complicate your interactions. This service covers romantic realms as well as professional ties, exposing the cosmic threads that bind or challenge you. Our approach highlights not just compatibility but also the growth potential of your relationships. Embrace the cosmic comedy of your connections while gaining practical advice for navigating them.
Transit-Progressions Tracking
Like a master geometer mapping the intersection of divine circles (or like tracking which celestial body decided to slide into your DMs this season), we trace the ongoing dance between heaven’s current positions and your natal blueprint. This is not mere prediction, but rather a sacred cartography of kairos – those pregnant moments when eternal truth touches temporal opportunity (and sometimes pokes it playfully). We illuminate those times when the stars themselves seem to pause, creating windows through which grace might more easily enter – think of it as your cosmic GPS, but instead of “turn left at the next light,” it’s “turn inward at the next Saturn square.”
Solar Returns
Imagine if God played cosmic chess, and your birthday was the moment to make the most divine move possible. This reading reveals how the heavenly spheres arrange themselves on your solar return – not just to sing “Happy Birthday” in celestial harmonies, but to compose the symphony of your coming year. We’ll guide you in choosing where to celebrate your solar return (because yes, location matters – the universe is particular like that), helping you position yourself at the exact cosmic coordinates where grace might flow most abundantly. Think of it as sacred geography meets divine timing, with a dash of holy wanderlust thrown in for good measure.
Composite Chronicles
Ever wondered what happens when two souls’ sacred geometries decide to create their own dance floor? The composite chart is that mystical “third thing” born when two charts merge – like divine mathematics having a baby, if you will. This is no mere relationship reading; it’s an exploration of how your combined energies create their own unique pattern in the cosmic tapestry. We’ll illuminate the sacred purpose of your connection, its potential for mutual transfiguration, and yes, even those places where the divine comedy gets particularly… comedic. Because sometimes, the path to theosis involves learning to waltz with someone who’s trying to tango.
Top 40 days of your year
Not quite biblical (though we do appreciate a good scriptural parallel), this reading maps the forty most pivotal moments in your upcoming cosmic calendar. Think of it as your personal guide to when the universe is either rolling out the red carpet or suggesting a strategic retreat for contemplation. We identify those precise moments when the celestial geometry aligns to create windows of divine opportunity – or as we like to call them, cosmic power-up points. No wandering in the desert required, though we might suggest occasional periods of productive hermitage when the stars indicate it’s time for a holy timeout.
Put a Ring on It: The Timeline | $35 | 5 working days | A list of the most significant years in your lifetime
Put a Ring on It
A clear chronological map of significant years in your life’s unfolding story, from birth to your golden age. Through precise mathematical calculations, we identify those periods when the stars herald profound shifts in your social sphere – be they relationships, marriages, births, career ascensions, or other life-altering connections. Each pivotal year is presented in a clean, straightforward format, letting you envision the broader arcs of possibility in your journey. No elaborate analysis, just pure cosmic timing: a simple yet profound list of years when the divine geometry suggests your social tapestry might be rewoven in meaningful ways.
Cosmic Love Bundle
This package includes:
Natal Chart Revelation ($188)
Relationship Analysis ($188)
Composite Chart Chronicles ($188)
Put a Ring on It Timeline ($35)
Save $141 when bundled!
Personal Evolution Package
Your personal roadmap to cosmic mastery!
This package includes:
Spill the Tea Natal Chart Analysis ($188)
Transit & Progressions Tracking ($378)
40 Days & 40 Nights Tour ($188)
Save $106 when bundled!
The Grand Cosmic Collection
The ultimate astrological deep dive! Includes all our services:
Spill the Tea Natal Chart Analysis ($188)
Relationship Analysis ($188)
Transit & Progressions Tracking ($278)
Solar Return Strategy ($188)
Composite Chart Chronicles ($188)
40 Days & 40 Nights Tour ($188)
Put a Ring on It Timeline ($35) Save $255 when bundled!
What You Gain
Experience the numerous benefits of our astrological services, with timely insights delivered when you need them most. Discover clarity, connection, and empowerment through personalized guidance that aligns with your journey’s key moments.
Clarity and Insight
Gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationships, empowering you to make informed decisions with confidence.
Personal Growth
Transformative readings propel your self-discovery journey, helping you embrace your strengths and navigate challenges with clarity.
Strengthened Connections
Enhance personal and professional relationships through compatibility analysis that fosters understanding and meaningful connections.